A Single Mom’s Journey of Healing From Narcissistic and Physical Abuse
This is the second part of Crazy Making: When Your Abuser Plays Victim.
So there we are, my boyfriend and I sitting in the lobby of the courtroom. I am panicking, which is normal whenever I get anxious. He tells me that everything is going to be fine in an hour and not to worry. I trust him.
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This story has been hard for me to tell people. I am ashamed of it for so many reasons. I got in trouble with the police. My children were exposed to behavior they shouldn’t have never seen. I spiraled out of control, my life being controlled by an abuser, and I allowed my fear of being alone to contribute to me tolerating the abuse. It is the story about the night my abuser called the cops on me, when an abuser plays victim and when an abuse victim is made out to be an abuser.
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I can’t recall the exact date that I had to call my ex boyfriend’s mother to come get him out of my bed, but I know it was about a year ago. I try not to think about it but it is part of my story so I have to be open about being abused, if I want to help others. So here it goes…
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My favorite question about co-parenting with a Narcissistic Ex is, “How do you do it?” My answer is always: YOU CAN’T.
The idea of co-parenting is separated parents working together amicably to raise their child. Narcissists can’t put others before themselves so the idea of co-parenting is impossible. What you have to do when raising a child whose other parent is a narcissist is to develop coping skills in order to handle their behavior while putting your child’s wellbeing first.
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He and I sat there and grimaced, watching the news report on a domestic violence incident. A woman was hospitalized in critical condition because she had been beaten so badly by her abusive husband. “What a horrible man,” he said, then a long silence, followed by “Why would anyone stay?” I replied, “I don’t know. So sad.”
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