This story has been hard for me to tell people. I am ashamed of it for so many reasons. I got in trouble with the police. My children were exposed to behavior they shouldn’t have never seen. I spiraled out of control, my life being controlled by an abuser, and I allowed my fear of being alone to contribute to me tolerating the abuse. It is the story about the night my abuser called the cops on me, when an abuser plays victim and when an abuse victim is made out to be an abuser.Continue reading
Category: Trauma Healing (Page 1 of 3)
I can’t recall the exact date that I had to call my ex boyfriend’s mother to come get him out of my bed, but I know it was about a year ago. I try not to think about it but it is part of my story so I have to be open about being abused, if I want to help others. So here it goes…Continue reading
My first date was almost 20 years, which terrifies me. Over the course of those 20 years I cannot tell you how many times I would get mad if my boyfriend went out without me.
It always keeps ad to some huge argument or me rage texting the guy, which would lead to me becoming angrier because he was ignoring me. It took this happening countless times over 18 years to discover why I acted the way I did when my boyfriend went out without me.Continue reading
Continued from Part 1
If you or someone you know is a Victim of Domestic Violence call 1-800-799-7233 or visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website where they have a chat function.
The Build Up to September
I was in the midst of what I now realize was a mental breakdown caused by emotional abuse I had been receiving for years from my ex-husband, combined with my ex-boyfriend’s manipulative mind games that I was too blinded by love to see.The constant mental abuse made me crazy. “As in put your 2 kids in a car and go bang on your boyfriend’s door in the middle of the night” crazy. He proclaimed out of nowhere that night, I was needy because I text him throughout work days and he needed a break. He hung up the phone and blocked me. I went crazy, not realizing it was a mental mind fucking game and he was the the Gamemaster. I was devastated. After hours of laying in bed, overthinking, I decided that the best thing to do was to beg for him back, I took my two sleeping children, put them in the car at 4 am and drove 19 miles to beg for him back. His friend spending the night answers the door and tells me to go home or CPS was going to take my kids. I leave, it didn’t hit me till hours later what I had done. Still to this day, I am ashamed that I put my children in that position.Continue reading
A Personal Story of Domestic Violence and Why I Stayed – Part 1
He and I sat there and grimaced, watching the news report on a domestic violence incident. A woman was hospitalized in critical condition because she had been beaten so badly by her abusive husband. “What a horrible man,” he said, then a long silence, followed by “Why would anyone stay?” I replied, “I don’t know. So sad.”Continue reading